You will Give Up In Life If You Measure Or Judge Your Own Success By Standards Of Others Or Your Own Unrealistic Standards.
Evelyn And The “Unplesable” Mum
I once read a story of a woman, Evelyn, who had tried everything in her life to please her mum, to no success. She finally came up with a great idea. Her mum had for a long time wanted to visit her old hometown and have good time with old friends in her former little beach community.
But as soon as they got out of town, for strange reasons, they took a wrong turn and got lost. By the time they found their way back and reached the town, it was late, and the room she had reserved had been taken. Disappointed, she drove to another guest house and got a room all the same, but not of her standard.
When morning came they drove to the little community and found that the lake had swept the little lakeside village and the villagers had long moved out. The journey back home was tense as the perennial complainer of Madam Mum complained all the way as having been taken on a wild goose chase. Evelyn was disappointed and confessed she was a failure, and would never succeed. From her perspective, yes, she had failed miserably!
But in correct perspective, Evelyn actually SUCCEEDED in doing everything she could to please her mum. But her mum was “unpleasable” and FAILED to be pleased by her daughter’s efforts.
In my view, a successful person is one who succeeds even in failure and learns valuable from it, and makes a renewed, spirited attempt. A failure is inewho never sees success in others’ or their own best efforts. A failure thrives in pessimism, and clings morbidly and rigidly to pessimistic look at things. Luke holds that Evelyn was a SUCCESS, her mother a FAILURE. PERIOD.
You Can’t Succeed In Pleasing Everyone
The point where ALL HUMANS are failures is when it comes to pleasing EVERYONE. No man can please everyone.
That’s where God may allow me in my wicked mind to think that even the Almighty is a Failure here. The only difference is that God never tries to please anyone. God has His principles laid down. He is not out to please anyone. If God in His sinless state cannot please everyone, then believe me, you in your fallen state cannot please EVERYONE
Who’s The Failure Or Who Succeeded?
There are human beings you can never please. A man or woman in a relationship with you where you are doing EVERYTHING to please them, but who cannot be pleased. Buy things, stoop low, even BELOW you, but you still could or cannot not keep or hold him or her, and the relationship ended or ends to your pain.
I think in correct perspective, if you did everything you knew as human, YOU ACTUALLY SUCCEEDED. You passed exams, and you’re now ready for the next level where you will meet and hold the right man or woman. Even if things do not work again, so long as you PRAYED and played by every trick in the book and did your best, hapo umefaulu tena sana.
There Are Bosses You Can Never Please.
Try the best you can, you will still get insults of “Wewe jinga sana. Apana jua kitu! Mimi napatia wewe kazi kama wewe konda kama sindano. SAA hii wewe kwishaiba mali yangu wewe kwisha nona kama nguruwe….”
But even Wazungu can do the same, just in different ways. The African boss, no better. Humans are human. No one is perfect.
Years ago I worked tirelessly in various capacities SIMULTANEOUSLY for a Bible Institute in the country. I did MORE than anyone who had been there before me. With my characteristic dedication and commitment to a cause, I LITERALLY OVERWORKED myself for the success of the institution.
But when the locals feared I might eventually head the institution in the future, once when the bosses were back in the US for the long recess, I was maligned and blackmailed BEYOND defense. When they returned I was terminated like an idiot, with unnecessary deductions of my benefits, having to start from ZERO. It was the roughest, toughest of my life.
Two years later the institution closed down due to mismanagement, immorality, witchcraft and witch hunt by the “very trusted ones”, whom I had put on check. Sadly everyone, including those who had left, was compensated except Luke Divines.
For a while I thought I was a FAILURE. After as I continued to use my experience from the institution, I SUCCEEDED beyond my wits in certain areas. Their END was my NEW BEGINNING.
Furthermore, some of the materials I had written on assignment for the college became part of the Curriculum later and currently taught in countries around the world where they had sister colleges.
Today I think I succeeded for God and VLMI BTC more than my fellows who only got their benefits and bought lands and built homes. But who is homeless anyway?
There Are Spouses You Can Never Please
No matter what you do. A hellcat of a wife who speaks 1000 words per minute blaming the hubby for everything wrong. Or the lazy but overbearing hubby who can never appreciate your efforts to keep the family going despite the challenges
A husband who never appreciates his wife’s efforts with any compliment but is profuse with compliments outside to other women in social media or the work place. A nagging, insatiable wife who cannot appreciate her hubby’s efforts to make the family happy despite the bad times faced by all. It will take prayer and God’s hand to change such.
Children Or Parents You May Not Please
Some parents have failed to please some children. Children whom you have sacrificed EVERYTHING for (including personal freedoms and rights) just to offer them the best in life. You went further to make sacrifices to see the through college or university.
Only to rebel against you later in life. They get jobs, rent great homes, cannot help you repay the loans as they consume their money with older or younger men or women.
I heard deep cries from the mother of my friend. A gifted graphics designer. A rare brain. Dad had separated with Mum, and being a Primary school teacher, she was able to take loans and loans to educate Jimmy and siblings.
When Jimmy was now earning big, had a car and much more, he was educating a girl friend as Mama wallowed in lack, riddled with loans, praying and fasting in hills crying to God. In Africa educating children is still an investment from which parents, especially the lower class citizens, expect returns in due time. Unfortunately, some parents realise they cannot please them.
Or a set of, or one of the parents like Evelyn’s mum, whom you can never please even if you have to walk to work and send them your fare to eat. Parents who think that because they sent you to school and did everything to bring you up, they own you and everything you possess! Filial loyalty should never be demanded but a appreciated. Let’s strike a balance.
In all the above situations, it is so easy to label yourself, like Evelyn, a FAILURE. But that is where I think you are A GREAT SUCCESS. Why? Because you succeeded in doing everything you knew to please your parents, make your spouse happy or keep the marriage.
The fact that your parents died “unpleased”, or the marriage ended in pains or is ever surviving on the rocks, depicts you only as a FAILURE in the eyes of BLIND BEHOLDERS. YOU ARE A SUCCESS, NA RAHA NA PONGEZI JIPE MWENYEWE! Kwani iko nini? You cannot please everyone!
Never, never allow people to measure your success by the number of times you have “failed” from their viewpoint. I determined to measure MY OWN SUCCESS BY THE NUMBER OF TIMES I DID THE BEST I KNEW TO SUCCEED. Not the number of times people thought I failed. The failure is only in their eyes. Mine is SUCCESS!
IN CONCLUSION
Trying your best, doing everything you know, is SUCCESS from God’s perspective. Keep improving and making changes where necessary. Never, never give up because some local professor in “gossipology” declared you a FAILURE. Rise up each time, keep seeing yourself up, and keep moving up, because UP you belong. You are the head, not the tail!
Sooner or later those who saw you down will see you up. they will think you just reached up miraculously. Watasema ulipata “sponsor” (male or female). But if “sponsors” are all around and so easily available, mbona na wao wasipate?
The truth is that you have always been up, with God and your efforts as your chief sponsors. But they always saw you from their own marred perspectives & biased lenses. now they will be seeing the real you.
SUCCESS, LIKE BEAUTY, IS IN THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER! SEE YOURSELF AS GOD SEES YOU! YOU ARE A SUCCESS!
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