You’ll Give Up In Life If You Measure Or Judge Your Own Success By The Standards Of Others Or Your Own Unrealistic Standards.
EVELYN AND THE “UNPLESABLE” MUM
I once read a story of a woman, Evelyn, who had tried everything in her life to please her mum, to no success. She finally came up with a great idea. Her mum had for a long time wanted to visit her old hometown and have good time with old friends in her former little beach community.
But as soon as they got out of town, for strange reasons, they took a wrong turn and got lost. By the time they found their way back and reached the town, it was late, and the room she had reserved had been taken.
Disappointed, she drove to another guest house and got a room all the same, but not of her standard.
When morning came they drove to the little community and found that the lake had swept the little lakeside village and the villagers had long moved out.
Their journey back home was tense as the perennial complainer of Madam Mum complained all the way as having been taken by her daughter on a wild goose chase. Evelyn was disappointed and confessed she was a failure, and would never succeed.
WHAT DO WE LEARN FROM EVELYN AND HER EFFORTS?
In correct perspective, Evelyn actually SUCCEEDED in doing everything she could to please her mum. But her mum was “unpleasable” and FAILED to be pleased by her daughter’s efforts. Luke holds that Evelyn was a SUCCESS, her mother was a FAILURE. PERIOD.
YOU CANNOT SUCCEED IN PLEASING EVERYONE
There are human beings you can never please. A man or a woman in a relationship with you where you are doing EVERYTHING to please them, but who cannot be pleased. Buy things, stoop low, even BELOW you, but you still could or cannot not keep or hold him or her, and the relationship ended or ends to your pain.
Digressing just a bit, today Nigerians and Kenyans mourn the death Pastor Beloved John, I keep remembering some of his words in an audio recorded by his Nigerian friend. In the audio John is complaining to his friend after his wife had stabbed him. “Yet I have done everything to please my wife,” he laments.
Whether he did try or not, we do not know and we are no competent judges in matters beyond our purview. But his words have been echoed by many people in their various situations. Men and women in relationships, husbands and wives, children and parents, employers and employees. They’ve all complained at some point that no matter what they tried, there was no reignition of their attempts to please the other party.
Back to our original story. Who between Evelyn and the mother is the FAILURE or SUCCESS there? Opinions may vary, but as I said, Evelyn is a success because she has done EVERYTHING she knew to please her mum. The mum being satisfied depended on her, not Evelyn.
In correct perspective, if you did everything you knew as human, YOU ACTUALLY SUCCEEDED, passed exams, and you’re now ready for the next level where you will meet and hold the right man or woman. Even if things do not work again, so long as you PRAYED and played by every trick in the book and did your best, HAPO UMEFAULU TENA SANA.
THERE ARE BOSSES YOU CAN NEVER PLEASE.
Try the best you can, you will still get insults of “Wewe jinga sana. Apana jua kitu! Mimi napatia wewe kazi kama wewe konda kama sindano. SAA hii wewe kwishaiba Mali yangu wewe kwisha nona kama nguruwe….”
But even Wazungu can do the same, just in different ways. The African boss, no better. Humans are human. Years ago I worked tirelessly in various capacities for a Bible Institute. I did MORE than anyone who had been there before me. With my characteristic dedication and commitment to a cause, I LITERALLY OVERWORKED myself for the success of the institution.
But when the locals feared I might eventually head the institution in the future, once when the bosses were back in the US for the long recess, I was maligned and blackmailed BEYOND defense. When they returned I was terminated like an idiot, with unnecessary deductions of my benefits, having to start from ZERO.
Two years later the institution closed down due to mismanagement and witchcraft and witch hunt by the “very trusted ones”, whom I had put on check. Sadly everyone, including those who had left, was compensated except Luke Divines. Yet I had done everything I could to please them. I sacrificed beyond my ability.
For a while I thought I was a FAILURE. As I continued to use my experience from the institution, I SUCCEEDED beyond my wits in certain areas. Their END was my NEW BEGINNING.
Furthermore, some of the materials I had written on assignment for the college became part of the Curriculum later and currently taught in countries around the world where they had sister colleges. Today I think I SUCCEEDED FOR GOD and VLMI BTC more than my fellows who only got their benefits and bought lands and built homes. But who is homeless anyway? Success is not measured by how many people we pleased or not.
THERE ARE SPOUSES THAT YOU CAN NEVER PLEASE
no matter what you do. A hellcat of a wife who speaks 1000 words per minute blaming the hubby for everything wrong. Or the lazy but overbearing hubby who can never appreciate your efforts to keep the family going despite the challenges.
Remember the story of the late Pastor Beloved John. How he complained of having tried everything to please Ruth but still ended up dead, wherever the cause.
Th are children whom their parents have sacrificed EVERYTHING for (including personal freedoms and rights) just to offer them the best in life, to attain the best education. Only to for the children to rebel against the parents later in life. All you can do is pray for them and trust God to restore them.
There are parents you can never please. If you are blessed with a parent like Evelyn’s mum, whom you can never please even if you have to walk to work and send them your fare to eat, all you can do is pray for them and trust God to change them. Never allow their failure to appreciate your efforts make you despise yourself.
Many daughters in-law have tried in vain to please their mothers in-law whom, no matter how hard they tried, could never feel pleased or grateful. I know a woman who bought her mother in law things. Sent her money. Did everything. But the mother in law still was hellbent on making sure she was replaced as a daughter in law.
In all the above situations, it is so easy to label yourself, like Evelyn, a FAILURE. But that I think you are a GREAT SUCCESS. Why? Because SUCCEEDED IN DOING EVERYTHING YOU KNEW to please your parents, make your spouse happy or keep the marriage.
The fact that your parents died “unpleased”, or the marriage ended in pains or is ever surviving on the rocks, depicts you only as a FAILURE in the eyes of BLIND BEHOLDERS.
YOU ARE A SUCCESS, NA RAHA NA PONGEZI JIPE MWENYEWE!
You can’t please everyone! Never ever allow people to measure your success by the number of times you have “failed” from THEIR viewpoint. I determined to measure MY OWN SUCCESS BY THE NUMBER OF TIMES I DID THE BEST I KNEW TO SUCCEED. Not the number of times PEOPLE thought I FAILED. Hiyo FAILURE ni yao; yangu ni SUCCESS! Where did they train to measure Luke’s successes and failures by the way?
IN CONCLUSION
Trying your best, doing everything you know, is SUCCESS from God’s perspective. Keep improving and making changes where necessary. Never, never give up because some local professor in “gossipology” declared you a FAILURE. Rise up each time, keep seeing yourself up, and keep moving up, because UP you belong. “Head, not the tail”!
Sooner or later those who saw you down will see you up. They will think you just reached up miraculously. watasema ulipata “sponsor” (male or female). But if “sponsors” are all around and so easily available, mbona na wao wasipate?
The truth is that you have always been up, with God and your efforts as your chief sponsors. But they always saw you from their own marred perspectives & biased lenses. Now they will be seeing the real you.
SUCCESS, LIKE BEAUTY, IS IN THE EYES OF BEHOLDER! SEE YOURSELF AS GOD SEES YOU
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If the message has lifted you from some point to somewhere in your life, kindly leave a comment for others to read. God bless you superabundantly
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Email: lukedivines.ld.ld@gmail.com———————————————————–
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